THE MOST IMPORTANT POST ON "THE TIME OF ANGELS" YOU WILL EVER READ

[prof_pangaea]

so, "babyface" is river's official nickname for eleven, y/n? with "pretty boy" as her nickname for ten. this is obviously how she differentiates them in her journal.

Dear Diary. Just saw Babyface again. Thankfully I caught him in the right part of his timeline so I've already introduced him to the wonders of the Venusian strap-on. Sometimes it's awkward to have to figure these things out in the middle of an intimate moment, but I have to say, it's much less awkward than the alternative. Speaking of the time I accidentally introduced him to the wonders of the Venusian strap-on.

Anyway, we rescued a colony of Sea Devils from a mad computer, accidentally entered a pan-galactic hovercar race, and got arrested for 17,000,000,000 credits worth of old parking tickets, upon which my outstanding warrants were discovered and I was thrown in jail. Which would have been less of a problem if the Doctor's many, many more outstanding warrants hadn't also been discovered, so we were both thrown in jail. Thankfully Babyface is just as good at breaking out of prisons as the rest of him. At least with a little help from our Sea Devil friends. All I can say is, I'm surprised at the many uses there are for mesh. Stealing the TARDIS out of impound was also surprisingly easy after we got past the guard sharks. MESH. I'm going to have to get myself some. We followed all of that fun with a rousing sesson of sodomy in a seedy underwater motel.

Babyface might not have quite as fantastic an arse as Pretty Boy, but he does tend to cry less after we have sex.

BUT BACK TO THE REAL POINT: so, we also know that she's seen all of the doctor's faces!

(i keep seeing people saying, "BUT HOW?" but it seems like everyone in the universe has little animated gifs of all the doctor's regenerations that they keep in their back pocket so they can pull them out whenever they need to zap them straight into a victorian dude's brain or project them from their giant eyeball spaceship, so i don't see the problem. you could just assume that river dug one of these up sometime. or, maybe she was part of a future special called, "the thirteen doctors", which will be an animated adventure that will air on CBBC in five minute chunks in 2017. or she did a google image search. my point is it's not that hard to find pics of the dude's faces).

this obviously means that she has A NICKNAME FOR EVERY REGENERATION. guys, we must figure out these nicknames. it is of great importance to the universe ...somehow. yes.


ETA: i'm posting the winners! as determined by awesomeness. also accepting any alternates for ten and eleven that she may use when in the right mood. like, "Hey, Weaselface, stop licking that Ming Vase." ANSWERS MAY BE CHANGED OR ADDED TO AT ANY TIME.

One: Crankypants (from darthcorrie)
Two: Moptop (from biichan) or Columbo (from wra1th22 (obviously after a trip to the 1990's in which they watched a marathon on A&E)
Three: Miss Thing (from violetisblue)
Four: Handful (nudge nudge) (from iko)
Five: Princess Di (from lizbee)
Six: Sugar Plum (from big_n_happy)
Seven: Shortcakes (from reasonabsurd)
Eight: Prince Charming (from neutralalienist) or Fop (from wra1th22)
Nine: Big Ears (from netgirl_y2k)
Ten: Pretty Boy (from River) or Weaselface (from me)
Eleven: Babyface (from River)
bonus!Twelve: The Girl One (from nostalgia_lj)

Comments

[prof-pangaea.livejournal.com]

I have no idea about the nicknames, but I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that she has the best sex with Six. Of that, there is NO DOUBT IN THE UNIVERSE.

i bet he is gntle yet firm.

Oh, and I think she and Benny have raided the TARDIS wardrobe, gotten piss drunk and shagged like bunnies on more than one occasion.

they got dressed up in past doctor's clothes, y/y?

While on a mission to steal priceless artifacts and avoid the cops.

this fic needs to be written.

[iko.livejournal.com]

River would wear that big shaggy coat that Two wears, with heels, and Benny would wear Three's velvet jacket with nothing on underneath and they'd strut around sharing crazy Doctor stories.

[elyssadc.livejournal.com]

i bet he is gntle yet firm.

Oh, absolutely. But I was thinking more along the lines of her gagging him and tying him spread-eagle on the bed then riding him like a cowgirl. Or a reverse cowgirl.

they got dressed up in past doctor's clothes, y/y?

Sometimes. And sometime they would put on ridiculously fancy and completely impractical evening wear because they both love a good sparkly frock and absurd heels sometimes.

this fic needs to be written.

I would if I could, bb. You know it.