This is very good, Siobhan! Once again, you've surprised me with an entirely unexpected - yet entirely dead on - elaboration of an unwritten moment from the book. I didn't even think about what Holmes must have gone through while Russell was unconscious. You really have a way of getting into that man's head!
Some points:
-I have to give you a giant HUG for including my most favorite moment in all of the Doyle stories EVER: 'You're not hurt, Watson? For God's sake, say that you're not hurt!' That bit always makes a lump come to my throat, and I am so glad that you made that connection.
-I literally nearly jumped out of my chair when you had Donleavy speak. How did you even think of that, when I (and undoubtedly so many others) simply accepted that she had died? Incredible! That whole bit with her was so... ahh! I don't even have words.
-The paragraph where Holmes is telling her that she is nothing like her father - you've really spent a lot of time thinking about Moriarty's character, his motives, his inner self, haven't you? Amazing. (And you even managed to sneak in your bit about a Holmes/Moriarty pairing again. Very clever, that.)
One criticism, though. This part:
“She has been unconscious for too long.”
“It is quite normal for the amount of damage that was sustained.”
I wasn't entirely sure who was saying what. At first I thought that Watson had spoken the first line, and Holmes the second, but then I thought maybe it was the other way around? Mind you, this could just be a brain fart on my part. For all I know, it makes sense to everyone else reading it.
no subject
Some points:
-I have to give you a giant HUG for including my most favorite moment in all of the Doyle stories EVER: 'You're not hurt, Watson? For God's sake, say that you're not hurt!'
That bit always makes a lump come to my throat, and I am so glad that you made that connection.
-I literally nearly jumped out of my chair when you had Donleavy speak. How did you even think of that, when I (and undoubtedly so many others) simply accepted that she had died? Incredible! That whole bit with her was so... ahh! I don't even have words.
-The paragraph where Holmes is telling her that she is nothing like her father - you've really spent a lot of time thinking about Moriarty's character, his motives, his inner self, haven't you? Amazing. (And you even managed to sneak in your bit about a Holmes/Moriarty pairing again. Very clever, that.)
One criticism, though. This part:
“She has been unconscious for too long.”
“It is quite normal for the amount of damage that was sustained.”
I wasn't entirely sure who was saying what. At first I thought that Watson had spoken the first line, and Holmes the second, but then I thought maybe it was the other way around? Mind you, this could just be a brain fart on my part. For all I know, it makes sense to everyone else reading it.