The characterizations were quite good, and I like the idea a lot. I do think the style could be cleaned up just a little; it's not bad at all, but I think it could be a little more elegant with another draft. (For example, saying Holmes' shoes 'shone' or 'had been shined' instead of 'shined.')

Also, in the fourth one you talk about Mary's death before it actually happens, which isn't wrong per se, but it jarred me a little, since I wasn't sure when Mary died anyway.